How are Christians supposed to respond to this message when God clearly states that sex outside of marriage is wrong? What do you do when teaching the unmarried about sex? Do you tell them what a beautiful thing it is, they just can't have it right now? Or do you tell them how bad of a thing it is if they have it right now?
While sex is not inherently wrong it is outside of marriage, and over the centuries the church has tried to grapple with how to address this issue. Today, America's Christian culture has decided to side with teaching sex as a hands off issue. Most of the churches, however, will have the sense to clarify that it is only 'hands off' outside of marriage, but sadly that is not always so.
It's understandable to teach it that way. It's even a biblical truth. But does that mean we're approaching it correctly?
By the age of ten, probably even younger now, a child growing up in the church knows that sex outside of marriage is a big no no. But all of that negative teaching resonates over the years. Yes it's wrong out of the context of marriage, but it is right within the context of marriage. Where are those lessons?
Sure, it's a fine line you're walking on with that because you then cause curiosity (and we all know what killed the cat). Which is why most churches put those lessons few and very very far between. My guess is that is why God put Song of Solomon in the Bible. He knew somewhere along the way we would have issues and misconceptions that sex was bad altogether and He wanted to assure us how inaccurate that is.
My goodness, for growing up in the church I have yet to hear more than one...ONE lesson on that book of the Bible. After all, it's considered to be the book you read only when you're married. *insert eyes rolling here*
But, as Jesus always did, I like to look for a third seemingly unknown option.
Instead of teaching that sex is good in the context of marriage, and that it is bad outside of the context of marriage, I propose we teach that it is absolutely beautiful ONLY in the context of marriage. And it would probably come out something like this:
Sex is like a good joke in that a good joke can make anyone laugh. A good joke can be shared and enjoyed whether you understand the meaning or not. Sex is like that. We were made to enjoy it. Anyone in or out of marriage, can find pleasure in it.
But.
Even though a good joke can make everyone laugh, the beauty of it's complexity is only fully understood and enjoyed by someone who understands the entire context of the joke. And according to those people who fully comprehend and enjoy the joke, those who missed it's context missed out on the entire joke overall; whether they happened to laugh or not.
Sex is no different. Yes, it is pleasurable to everyone, but its complexity and beauty is only understood in marriage. To skip marriage and just reach for sex's pleasure is to read the final page in a very gripping book. While sex outside of marriage is wrong...it's mostly foolish.
God has reasons behind why things are wrong. And the reasoning behind this is one is because outside of marriage it gives you such a degraded view of sex. You only get to see .5% of it's beauty, and you're tricked into thinking that's all there is to it. And, quite simply, that breaks His heart.
So the bottom line:
God wants you to wait because He doesn't want you to sell yourself short.
Post a Comment