I love sitcoms; I grew up watching Everybody Loves Raymond and Home Improvement. Both shows hold a certain place in my heart due to the many laughs they brought me and my family throughout the years. But I can't help thinking about the unfortunate destruction the humor has brought.

I didn't realize the negative impact at the time, but I see it now. I see it more and more. In most family sitcoms the dad is seen as the fool and the woman is always right. It was an object of humor that caught everyone's attention. And honestly, it was funny...on tv.

I love observing people and behavior. (I probably should have studied psychology, but oh well.) And over the years those observations have led me to realize the impact of those beloved sitcoms. Guys who have strong opinions/suggestions when single, suddenly become pushovers when it comes to their girlfriend/fiance/wife.

Yes, some of it is because they are enamored with her and just want to see her happy. But it's not always that. Sometimes they know their girl is incorrect or misinformed and they don't speak up.

According to sitcoms, whatever the guy does is the wrong thing at the wrong time. No wonder they've morphed into pushovers! Men don't like being wrong and so now they just don't share their opinion.

Not only that, but it's the gentleman syndrom. Within Christian circles I realize this issue is even worse. And I think it's because somewhere along the way they confused being a gentleman with being a pushover. Apparently chivalry also includes letting the girl get her way even when she's wrong. :\


I'm not saying I want to marry someone that fights all the time, but I need someone who can tell me when I'm wrong. I'm human, I'm wrong a lot...and my husband needs to be able to tell me when I am.

But do gentleman like that exist? If not, I can certainly live without the chivalry because I'd rather not deal with a pushover.


So to the guys; stand up for yourselves and don't be a pushover. I'm not the only girl who finds pushovers as a turnoff. Learn how to lead in the relationship, that's how God designed it to work. Don't let society/sitcoms convince you otherwise.

To the girls; let the guys know that it's okay to stand up to you. Don't shoot him down when he gives his suggestion/opinion. Give them back the reigns to the relationship and let them lead. They may not always want to, but that is the position that God made for them. Support them in fulfilling that role.

1 Thessalonians 5:11
"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."


I think Christians get so focused on the encouragement and forget what "building up" actually entails. We read that verse and somehow get this idea that building up and encouraging are one in the same. But compliments/encouragement are not the only ingredients to building each other up.

"Building up" someone implies growth, right? Well, how can one grow without improvement? And how can one improve if all they hear is encouragement and compliments of what theyr'e doing right? I think Christians have become so focused on the encouragement that they forget to critique.

A couple years ago I was taking a class to become a swim instructor and one of the main points was how to offer criticism. Well that seems accurate, in order to learn one needs to know what they're doing wrong. Despite popular belief criticism is not just the negative, it's the negative with the positive.

My teacher suggested that criticism be a 1:1 ratio, if possible. If you see something they need to improve, you need to mention something they did successfully. But it is just as important to find something they need to improve when you see something they did successfully. Praise and improve. That's how you learn, that's how you get better.

Why have Christians lost that?

We're all about the "aww great job," "you have such a heart for God," and "God's working through you." But rarely do we ever instruct each other. Yes, encouragement is beneficial as well as vital. But so are loving words of instruction.

We strive to be like Christ...and yet we do not rebuke! Christ instructed people all around Him, and people were CHANGED! But nowadays, instruction and rebuking has been reserved for close friends and parents only. What's up with that? Everyone should be building up everyone. After all, we are one body.

We think we're "building each other up" through encourgament when all we're doing is remaining stagnant. We need to know the areas that need improvement in order to change and grow and be built up.


If you offer words of encouragement, do you also offer words of improvement? Or are you letting your brothers/sisters remain stagnant and without change?

I know I have allowed people to remain stagnant, and that needs to change. I let fear get in the way because our American and Christian culture has taught us to not offend anyone. But critique and instruction can be done in a way that is not meant to offend.


So who will you encourage and instruct today? And will you be ready and willing if someone offers you an area of improvment?

Over the past couple days I’ve been slowly finding time to unpack from school. Which means laundering all my clothes because I no longer remember what was clean before I left school and what wasn’t. (Better safe than sorry, right?)

I don’t normally mind laundry but when you have load after load after load after load...it gets annoying. And quickly. While waiting for the dryer to get done with the next load I just wanted to complain; the dirty pile seemed absolutely unending. I always feel like I have very little to wear...until it comes to laundry day and suddenly I have too many clothes. Oy vey.

Then I remembered this one poem my mom hung near the sink. It’s about thanking God for the pile of dirty dishes to clean, not because you have to clean them but because dirty dishes are proof that you had food to fill all those dishes...and consequently your stomaches as well.

Just like dirty dishes are proof of food, piles of dirty laundry are proof that I am privileged enough to have so many clothes. Not only do I have clothes, I have choices of what I want to wear. Some people wear the same thing for days because it’s all they have and here I am complaining that I have piles of dirty clothes.

We all know the phrase, ‘one man’s junk is another one’s treasure’. Well, one man’s complaint is another man’s luxury.


How many other chores do we groan and complain about when really they are blessings overlooked and disguised?

Several weeks ago my ring broke in the back of the band. When it happened I knew I had two options, I could ignore it and continue wearing it or I could take the effort to fix it. I should have seen it coming because there was a faint line down it that indicated a weakness, but I let it slide hoping it was simply a surface mark rather than an internal issue.

Isn't that how broken relationships happen? Small things get overlooked in ignorance or in hopes that it was unimportant. And just like my ring, we have the same two options to chose from when dealing with a broken relationship; we can ignore it, or we can fix it.

Luckily with my ring I chose to take it off until getting it fixed. However, if I continued wearing it without dealing with the issue no one would have noticed. I could have carried on as normal. The problem would be that the break would turn into a larger gap making it more difficult to mend later on.

All too often with relationships we are afraid that we will only make matters worse when trying to fix it, so we don't. We ignore the issue. Left that way for long periods of time you are left with a great chasm. By the time you'd try to fix the relationship that has been broken you won't even know where to start.

Unfortunately I didn't take the wiser route in my relationship with my dad. We ignored it. I didn't pretend it didn't exist, because I was very aware as I continued to walk on eggshells. So how do you go about fixing a broken relationship that's been left to decay?


Well, how am I going to fix my ring?
I could try gluing it together. But that wouldn't really fix the problem. That would only take two stubborn objects and force them together. No, my ring needs to be soldered. It needs to be heated up in order to become malliable enough to be mended.

In order to fix this relationship with my dad it's going to hurt. It needs to get put in the fire with the hot coals before it can be soft enough to change. I'm going to want to turn around and run away from it like I have done over the years.

But there's one more important part of the soldering process that can't be forgotten, and that is the solder itself. The solder is like the middle man. The gap between the two ends of my ring need something to fill it up in order for the gap to be mended.

This broken relationship with my dad can't be fixed without help, I need a solder's assistance. I need God's help. Without God in the mix, even if the relationship is fixed it will be just as easily broken as before. With God as the solder this relationship can be fixed and remain strong.


Will it be easy? No
Will I want to run? Yes
Will it be a quick recovery? No
Will it be worth it? Yes


Broken relationships take effort, humility, and perseverance to fix them. They need to be put in the fire and soldered.

Everyone always says that the youngest sibling has it easy, and in some aspects I can’t deny it. Growing up the youngest was probably easier simply because all the responsibility and parenting experiments was put on the eldest. But it’s later in life when the youngest gets the difficult part of 'siblinghood'.

Being the youngest sister I get to see my brothers grow up and accept these amazing opportunities in life. I am so proud of each of my brothers and where they’ve gotten to but the hard part is realizing that as they take these amazing turns in life...I am left behind.

As I grasp to those "good ol’ days" when our family was together under one house, they’re off living their new lives in different states and even different countries. Our family wasn’t perfect, and we still aren’t, but we are a family and I wouldn’t think of trading them in for any other. I miss them.

Maybe someday their lives will slow down enough for me to catch up to them. Maybe someday I’ll be moving forward, instead of sitting back feeling left behind. Maybe someday I’ll have a life full of my own opportunities.

Maybe...someday.

But until then I will remain content and oh so proud of all three of my brothers and their accomplishments! :)

America was founded on the concept of independency...and unfortunately our culture grasps tightly to it without letting go. This year is America’s 233rd year since declaring independence. And with each year it seems that the importance of independency grows.

Our culture tells us to be independent both financially, emotionally, and physically. "If you’re not independent, clearly you’re just not strong enough. You must be incapable."

After thinking about it, my question is...why do we perceive independency as a good thing? I look at my life and the reason I want to become independent of my family is not necessarily because I want to, but because I need to prove myself. Is that all that independency is...proving to everyone that you are capable of independency?

Most people who appear independent aren’t truly independent. Not entirely. God did not intend for us to be entirely independent. God made us to be dependent most of all to Him as well as to each other. So those that claim complete independence are either lying or they are because they force themselves to be. They build walls around themselves and refuse to need other people. That’s not healthy.

Yes, I understand that certain types of independencies are healthy. Living off your parents until they die, simply because you’re too lazy to get a job is not an okay dependency. But needing support occasionally, whether it be financially, emotionally, or whatever else is NORMAL!! Why do we get this idea that it’s a sign of weakness?!

I can tell you right now, that in the past couple months I’ve been struggling with forcing myself to be independent. Forcing myself to not rely on my parents, or my brothers, or even my friends. I’m one of those “people who need people!” But culture tells me that’s a bad thing, so I find myself refusing to need people and that's not a good thing.
--------------------------

I love this one book that I own. It has a series of pictures with unique unexplained captions. The following quote is the caption and the story intro is what developed from it.


"If there were an answer, I’d find it there."

Squeakily, rolling down the long, narrow railroad track, the cart slowly inched into the distance. The murky lake surrounding the mysterious track was deathly still and asleep. As if it were a pit bull playing dead just before it strikes, not one ripple quaked the surface of the dark water. Suspense hung over our heads, as the feeling that something eerie was about to occur, lingered in the air.

Curled up beside me, my younger sister shook from the cold breeze. Being that she is four years my junior, I have to care for her like a mother wolf cares for her cubs. Constantly finding strangers to introduce herself to, my sister can be difficult to keep out of trouble. But I don’t mind too much, after all she keeps me on my toes, and ready for the unexpected. Well, that is…until tonight.

Occasionally my "doodles" during class happen to be lyrics. This was written a long time ago. I just remembered it and thought it would be a great addition in light of my previous post.


I give my mind, I give my soul
I give my dreams, I give my goals
My whole life I give to you
It’s not easy but it’s all I can do

Cause you gave me everything
Paid the ultimate sacrifice
I don’t deserve this at all
But you offered it anyhow

I really don’t understand
How can you forgive what I am?
The only thing I can say
Is your love is so great!

For you give me a life I don’t deserve
You give me love and it seems absurd
Cause I turn my back upon you
And I pain you with the things that I do
But your love is so strong
You love me no matter what I do wrong

So here I am
I’ll give you what I can
I can’t give you a lot
But I’ll give you all that I’ve got

So I give my mind, I give my soul
I give my dreams, I give my goals
My whole life I give to you
It’s all yours so please put me to your use
My whole life I give to you
It’s all yours so please put me to your use

Everyone has the need to be loved. There are those that will do anything to be loved, and there are those who have given up on life because they feel unloved. It’s not a cultural need to be loved, it is a desire that every human has.

Some get love from their parents, a boy friend/girlfriend, or even a friend. But even those who have astronomical numbers of friends and loved ones end up feeling lonely. Maybe they don’t feel lonely every day, but there will always be times where everyone feels lonely.

No matter the circumstances, the love we find in friends or family never seems to be enough. There is only one place where the love we desire can be found, and that’s in God.

So why do so many Christians still feel lonely and unloved?

Think of a relationship between two people. If person A loves person B, person B can still feel unloved at the end of the day because they don’t return that love. Just because person B doesn’t love person A back, doesn’t mean person A loves person B any less...it just means person B isn’t really in tune with the love that is being poured onto them. Everyone is familiar with the saying “love is a two way street,” so why don’t we always realize it’s the same thing with God.

Until we return that love, we don’t truly realize/notice how much love is being poured on us by God. So how do we love God? It’s not something that usually happens over night. Love takes time to develop. Think about it, to love your parents it was developed through this relationship you had with them growing up, to love a friend it probably developed through the good and bad times you’ve endured with them, and to love a girlfriend/boyfriend it probably developed over a process of getting to know them.

There’s a quote from a movie that I think simplifies the point I’m trying to get at. “Love is a process, it isn’t this big event.”

I’ve known all my life that God is all I need. But to believe that with my heart is completely different. There have been times in my life where my heart has realized that God is enough and I try my best to “fall in love with God” but what does that actually entail?

It’s one thing to decide to love someone, it’s another to work towards achieving it. So many of those times I had an epiphany and (re)realized God was all I needed. Because of this inspiring epiphany I expected to instantly love Him. But like I said before, it’s not something that just happens.
Another quote from the same movie: “Love isn’t always a lightning bolt, you know?.... Maybe love isn’t something that happens to you. Maybe it’s something you have to choose.”

The expression “fall in love” and “choosing to love” have two things in common. I want you to look at the first word in both of those phrases. Step back into English class and tell me what kind of English words “fall” and “choose” are.

They’re both verbs. Verbs identify that there is an action taking place. So why do we think that love can be instant? It’s not a cup of coffee. It needs more time and action put into developing it.

So how does one live their life and feel loved?
They need to recognize that there is only One who can fill that emptiness.

The good news....the One that can satisfy our desire to be loved already does love us! Now it’s our turn to recognize that and choose to begin this process of loving Him back so we can truly feel His love being poured out on us.

But how do you begin to love someone you can’t see or touch?
Just like your friends...begin a relationship. Get to know Him. Spend time with Him. Let Him live life with you by talking to Him and asking for advice.

He already loves you. It’s time to stop running away or sitting in a stagnant relationship with Him and turn that one way street into a two way street!

There have been so many instances in my life where I have just wanted to know what happens in the end or where a certain circumstance in life is going to take me, but then I realize that the story of my life is much like a book. Sometimes things can move slow when nothing seems to happen, and then there are times where life is so fast paced it leaves my head spinning.

Reading a book is a process, you can't simply skip a part because it's boring. You have to push through it because it's all there for a reason. Even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.

And most importantly, you can't just flip to the back page to see what's coming ahead, or where everything leads to. If you do, the ending looses it's meaning. Without the process of slowly reading through the book and pushing through it, you can't appreciate the climax that was built to make the ending so worth it.

So here I am. Pushing through the slower parts in life and letting the unknown begin to build it's climax to whatever end may come because I know that waiting is part of what makes the result so exciting.


The best part is, I'm letting someone write my story for me who has far bigger plans than I have for myself. And He is the absolute best author. He is the Sovereign Lord and Author of life!

Written for a funeral I was unable to attend...


One by one they all pass by
stale in stern expression.
They carry on without a thought,
in one heartbreaking procession.

Their world has collapsed
and was sent to the grave.
Their minds are clouded and,
in their heart, grief engraves.

Grins have retreated,
fleeing this dark town.
This now overturned place,
house windows for frowns.

Their river has been depleted,
and their faucet runs dry.
Though their sorrow is there,
they can no longer cry.

Down to the ground,
each one stares.
For if they looked up,
they fear the world doesn’t care.

But the people watching,
though they don’t comprehend,
are there to support
cause they’re friends till the end.

So on this day thick with rain,
there’s a mood full of gloom.
It’s a procession of solemn faces,
from the church to the tomb.


Rest in peace, Kathy.

It’s been so long since I’ve felt the warm sun upon my skin. For months I’ve been caged and imprisoned by these walls. Oh I’ve seen the sun everyday, except for those unusual occurrences when the clouds cover the sky like a thick white blanket, but the sunbeams have been blocked by this brick cage I’m in.

Our society today tells us that first impressions are the most important. And what is the first impression people get? Looks and appearances of course. In order to “live the life” you need to be attractive according to the world’s standards.

When I look in the mirror, low self esteem hasn’t been a struggle for me. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had to jump that hurtle (someone find me a girl who hasn’t) just not recently. You won’t find me on a magazine cover, but I’m confident and I’m content. I figured that someday I’ll have a husband who will be able to say, “See that beautiful girl over there, she’s mine.”

But tonight when I saw my reflection I heard my Heavenly Father say, “See that beautiful girl down there, she’s mine.” The God of the Universe; He can see every person on this planet and He still looks down with a huge smile on His face and says, “That girl is mine, I love her so much!”

It’s not because I was blessed with “the right genes” or because I know what clothes to buy to make me look good. I’m beautiful because the Artist of this Universe created me. The same hands that formed the stunning stars that fill the sky (unless you’re near Philly where you can only see 5 stars), the same hands that painted a rainbow, the same hands that detailed each unique snowflake...also created me. That’s the reason I’m beautiful. That kind of beauty will never fade.

Tonight God told me I was beautiful. God told me He loved me. I am my Daddy’s girl!

To be able to call myself a "daddy's girl" may seem normal to some, but to me it is foreign. I don't think I've ever called myself a "daddy's girl." But tonight, I realized I was. And I have been all along!



Feeling God’s love firsthand never gets old. It refreshes, it comforts, it inspires. It is like nothing else. This world may try to tell you differently, and you might believe them sometimes. But it’s all a big lie...just another distraction.

Only from God can you experience pure and perfect love.

"I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. "
Psalm 139:14

This was written for my Prophetics class in which we were given creative liberty in interpreting Ezekiel 1. Not an easy chapter I assure you, however I enjoyed the assignment.
The bolded text was actually written months before on one of those spur of the moment pen-in-hand writing experiences. It just happened to be a perfect story to frame my interpretation. I did not edit it to fit the assignment, it already did.
In order to understand the unique fantasy type feel to this piece, please read Ezekiel 1 to understand what I was trying to picture.



I heard the second hand on the clock ticking as each second felt like a minute passing slowly by. No one had a clue as to what we should do while we were waiting. The teacher still hasn’t shown up, but we had seven minutes remaining before we could leave. It was one of those groggy Mondays where it was too early in the morning and the overcast sky with the misty rain only encouraged the silence of the sleepy people occupying the seats around me.

In the remaining time as I awaited my professor I decided to get ahead in my reading for one of my Bible classes. I reached down to my black bag resting against the feet of my chair to retrieve my recently bought Bible. As I opened my Bible to begin reading, I could still smell the scents of the large bookstore from which it was bought. I looked at the words on the page and tried to imagine the events that took place in the passage, but I could not focus. The silence of the people in the room gnawed at me like maggots eating away my sanity. The only sounds I heard were the cracking of knuckles, the scrapping of pencils, and the rustling of papers.

At last my mind was able to escape to another world. This world was not beautiful, this world was not serene, but the soft noises within the room grew to a loud symphony of an autumn forest just after a fire.

This dark and desolate forest was filled with an eerie mist that diminished any flames that resided. Trees, burnt as if from the inside out, came crashing to the forest floor below with a large crack, like the sound of thunder above your head. With each step I took I heard the leaves rustle and crunch beneath my feet and felt the presence of death and loneliness fill the air and absorb any spark of hope as the mist absorbed the dying flames from the burnt trees. Yet within this world filled with fear and uncertainty, I couldn’t help but be intrigued by the unique beauty of the scene that unfolded before me.

I continued crunching leaves as I aimlessly walked through the mist and past the death of the plants surrounding me when I noticed there was something sweet and innocent nearby. I couldn’t describe it; I didn’t know which direction it was in. But I knew it was there. Just like a soft harmony hidden behind the loud crescendo of an overpowering melody, it was there. Then I saw it. It was present all along, I just wasn’t looking for it until now.

Further into the heart of the forest was this grand tree that was untouched from the flames that destroyed everything else. It was as if the flames had avoided the tree and its close surroundings for fear of it. Even I could not get closer to it. This fear was not brought on by disgust, but rather by an immense amount of beauty. As soon as my eyesight reached the enchanting tree I stopped walking. I was so full of awe at the scene before me that I became powerless and could no longer move. This was not just some lucky tree that happened to escape a quenching fire. No, this tree was perfectly sculpted and radiated such elegance and ravishing beauty that even fire did not dare try to harm. It gleamed like a dazzling crystal among ashes.

Amidst branches and upon the roots of this tree, four beings dwelt in harmony. The eagle sat upon the flourishing branches of the tree, while the human, lion, and ox occupied the ground below. Just like the tree, each of these beings were shinning torches lighting up the darkness surrounding them. Each being had the power to at least harm another, but tension and fear did not exist between them. In fact, the opposite took place. Sometimes the eagle would swoop down and walk among the other beings as if they were all part of one family. As these beings walked about, they moved with such grace that they appeared to be floating rather than walking. Although there was innocence in their countenance, there was also power. As they moved about there was no sound of crunching leaves beneath their feet, but rather the babbling sounds of many waters nearby, or the sound of an army approaching.

Not one of the beings seemed to turn its head toward me, or perk an ear in my direction, but they knew I was there. It was as if the stars in the sky or the small water droplets in the mist were eyes watching over the entire forest. I didn’t get that creepy feeling of knowing that I was being watched, but rather a soothing feeling like when a king watches over his kingdom.

This glorious tree, along with the four beings, gleamed like a symbol of hope that the fire can be quenched, that the fire is not the most powerful thing in the forest. No, this tree had conquered the fire’s threat of destruction and shone bright with a likeness of a victorious king sitting upon his throne. It glowed so bright that one might fear that the light, in all its purity, would burst from the inside of the tree and beings for it is too powerful to be contained. This tree, was like the appearance of a rainbow in the clouds on a rainy day.

As I turned my head to take in the contrast between the burnt trees and this single enchanting tree, my eyes snapped back into focus. The surrounding trees that were once burnt to the core were once again my classmates sitting in the black rows of chairs. The rustling noises of papers being put back into backpacks reminded me once again that I was awaiting the arrival of my professor to begin class. Alas, he did not show up. I was now left with the remaining thirty-five minutes I had just gained from class being cancelled to finish reading and ponder over the abstract vision that Ezekiel had in his first chapter. How I was ever to interpret this chapter was beyond me.

Inspired by the ice storm back in December that left my family without power and heat for several days.


Sitting here bundled up in coats and blankets I can see, through the window, trees glistening in the moonlight. Despite the beauty that it appeared to be outside, the last thing I wanted to do was venture out and walk amidst it with the crunching ice beneath my feet. I heard enough crunching and cracking without leaving the wad of blankets above me that I didn’t need to be out there.

It was as if the cracking and popping noises from outside were a soft overtone to a soundtrack in a movie, only it wasn’t a soothing overtone it was one that built up suspense. Every minute hoping it was only a small crack that was heard and not the large crash of a massive branch penetrating the house.

With no power to allow for music to drown out the outdoor noises the only defense I had left from the fear was my imagination. I clamped my eyes shut and tensed into a tighter ball under the layers of covers and clothes.

The cracking and popping was still there, but instead of filling the air with fear it filled the air with warmth and hospitality. Right in front of me were flames dancing to the beat of the crackling like miniature tap dancers dressed in red and orange. Every time a large crack would occur sparks would shoot up into adorning fireworks showcased within my cozy little fireplace.

No longer was I covered in blankets, but simply curled up on the couch soaking up the heat radiating from the fire. There I laid down my head and let the captivating flames finish the show before me as my eyelids bore down upon my eyes. Gradually my blinks were no longer blinks but quick dozes off to sleep, until eventually my eyes gave up staying awake to watch the tap dancing fire and let sleep fall upon me at last.

The internet has opened up so many doors of opportunities for those who have talent. The problem is that this ability to communicate with those around the world causes competition to be far greater. It is now essentially impossible to be the “best” at any specific talent.

“Best” is a relative term, and years ago when the only people you could interact with were those in your town or the town nearby “best” was attainable because fewer people means lower chances someone has the same talent as yours. But now that people can be reached across the world, the stage and competition now makes “best” impossible.

For years I have done some digital designs as a hobby. While I am at home people consider me extremely talented. Why? Because there are few people to compare me to. However I am a part of several online communities of digital artists and I see what other talent is out there. While others call me extremely talented, I say I am amateur because I see the worldwide stage.

Mass communication has negatively impacted self-confidence on a grand scale. People now have the world to compare themselves to. When the stage for competition is that big, only extremely arrogant (or extremely ignorant) people will consider themselves the ultimate best at what they do.