I have this habit that whenever I'm told to open up to a specific passage of Scripture my eyes wander to the context of that passage. The great thing is, I'll tell you if you're pulling it out of context. The bad thing is, sometimes I get so distracted by the context that I don't hear what you're saying. ;p

Tonight we opened up to Ephesians 4:17-24. How many times have I heard this passage? A lot. It feels like I can just spit back the verses in a monotone, brainless fashion from hearing them so often: "put off your old self...put on the new self." It's a basic concept, hard to approach with a fresh mind, right? Well, not tonight. :)

Read alone, the passage paints the picture of someone who has a hard and calloused heart, someone who gives in to greed impurity and deceitful desires. In contrast you have someone renewed through the truth of Christ that creates a likeness in righteousness and holiness. Which is all true.

Oh but now take a closer look at the context...

Chapter four begins with the unified body of Christ; "bearing with one another in love," "eager to maintain," "bond of peace," "building up the body," "unity of the faith," and so on until it's climax. In verse sixteen it concludes, "when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love." It's about a community that constantly encourages, a community that holds one another together.

Now it opens up into the passage about what the old self looks like; futile, darkness, alienation, ignorance, calloused hearts... It is the picture of an individual. And an individual who gives in to impurities and deceit. So we are urged to put on this new self that is like God.

Now take a look at the rest of the chapter; Ephesians 4:25-32. Verse twenty-five kicks it off perfectly "Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another."

It continues on telling us to set aside previous sins, such as anger, thievery, and slander. All sins that tear each other down and obliterates any community. Instead "doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need." And only talk "as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

These two passages properly bookend a passage of contrast between the old self and the new self. While the specific passage in verses seventeen through twenty four may not specifically lay this out, it certainly is an overall concept of the chapter...

The old self is an individual walking in darkness and stumbling in darkness. The renewed self is one who is part of a bigger picture that is the body of Christ; a community. Being a Christian is not about being an individual rightly living for God, it is about being part of a group of people rightly living for God.

So often we hear that 'being a good little Christian' is about behaving this way, living that way, and be nice to those around you. But how accurate is that? Looking at this chapter for what it is (and I assure you it does not stand alone in the scheme of the Bible) being a Christian is not about being an individual. Not even a good individual. It is, however, about being a part of something; something that strengthens, something that urges each other on, something that builds each other up...something called community.

Outside of Christ we are lonely. And in that loneliness we become calloused and give in easily. But in Christ we find community. And in that community we become resistant because we have help from one another.

Now that is a picture worth painting, and a distraction worth having. O:)

There are two songs that I’ve grown a liking to in the past few months. First is Light the Fire In My Heart by Sonicflood. There’s one part that hits me nearly every time because it speaks the honest truth that "Lord You know where I’ve been."

God’s not fooled or ignorant, He knows the truth far beyond the ones I outwardly admit to. He has come face to face with the harsh reality and intensity of where I’ve been because He was listening to every thought and every feeling as they occurred. There is no omission, there is no false justification, and to be honest He knows where I’ve been better than I do because I can push memories aside and refuse to believe them, but He knows. And yet He loves me; no more, no less. It is constant and steadfast.

The holy God that will have nothing to do with sin, remembers where I’ve been far better than I and yet He is quicker to love and forgive myself than I who has such a minuscule aversion to sin by comparison.

It seems illogical that things happen that way, but it’s not. The reason being because of this little thing that churches so easily glaze over, this thing called shame. One of the only times I hear it spoken about is when it is in reference to Adam and Eve.

Shame is not always a bad thing; it’s an honest recognition of wrong doing. But there are only two responses to shame. One response is to run to God in humility. The other is to hide from God and choose to condemn ourselves.

As humans we are so very strange sometimes, as I presume I am not alone in what I’m about to say: Sometimes the thing I fear most is forgiveness. Sometimes I feel better when I am condemned because I understand the gravity of what I’ve done. Grace (being given what I don’t deserve) is often easier to accept than mercy (being protected from what I do deserve).

I think that’s why I let myself carry around my past on my shoulders sometimes. I recall the past and when shame hits, I choose to hide under my own condemnation because I think I still deserve one. Because the truth of the matter is, I do deserve one. But to pass judgment on myself is to disregard the divine mercy of God as if to say that God’s love is not big enough or perfect enough to cover over what I’ve done. ...which is pride.

I remember talking with one of my girls about the burden of one’s past. I told her that, once dealt with before God, only we determine how much we carry into our present. “No, no, no” she protested “these hallucinations won’t go away and they aren’t of my choosing.” Every time my past comes in to haunt me (I may not see my past when I close my eyes but I feel the physical cuts on my skin and hear the voices reminding me I can survive without food) I wish I could remind myself of what I told her: Present reminders are merely the past begging for power because they don’t have it anymore. You still actively choose the weight they will have; dismiss them, laugh at them, listen to them, condemn yourself for them…you decide.

My past only has the weight and power that I give it because the reality of it is Jesus has redeemed and transformed me since then. My past is no comparison, no match, not even a fight worth watching against the power of God. The power of my past can’t touch that transformation. But I can let it infiltrate where I am now. I may choose out of weakness to listen to the torment because it feels easier than overcoming them, but it is still a choice.

But it’s not just about leaving the past behind me. God does not “forgive and forget” ...He forgives and remembers because the beauty is in the knowing where I’ve been. I cannot stand here today, being who I am, without having walked through my life. But oh so more important and spellbinding is that I got to where I am today only because of a love that was bigger than my mistakes.

Which leads me to the second song I’ve grown a liking to, You Are More by Tenth Avenue North. “Cause this is not about what you've done, But what's been done for you, This is not about where you've been, But where your brokenness brings you to.”


My God, my Father, my Pursuer..
You deserve far more than I can offer. I am glad You can smile and find delight in my offering the little that I have; myself. I love You, Lord. Don’t ever let me lose sight of that.