I get close to people when I experience the struggles of life with them. Those are the people I let into my life the most. Those who stand next to me with no obligation. It's a pattern I have. That's just where trust is built and my walls disappear. I don't plan it that way, it just is. I know many people are like this, they just aren't as walled up and closed as I am when I'm not struggling.
The thing I've realized though is that if this is my pattern. If this is the way I connect best with people...why on earth would God use a different way to strengthen our relationship? Time and time again I have some large crap come into my life. What I've come to realize is that it's just God saying "I really want to strengthen our relationship." And what's even more...He's willing to harm me just a little to bless me all the more.
Okay to most that probably didn't sound like a good thing. But if you think about it...when someone loves a person they would much rather hurt before they ever hurt that person. In other words, causing harm is about the worst thing they could experience. And yet God is willing to go through that experience because he knows 100% that the outcome will be worth it. There's no risk He's taking concerning the outcome, He is however going through the worst of heart pain by hurting me.
It makes sense I promise.
And I decided something last night. In all consciousness I realized that I too would rather go through all that pain and drama because His relationship is so beyond worth it.
The tricky part is the friends I have. I honest to goodness have lost friends because I have so much drama in my life. That is not a fabricated truth, I have been told such things as I have had friends turn and leave the door slamming behind them. So I hold in my drama. I tone it down. I don't share it with people. Not even my friends.
But then I realized that I would rather deal with all the drama in my life even if that means losing 'friends' because I gain the best thing of all; a better relationship with the God of this universe, my protector, and my friend.
So in summary this is what I expect from my life.
I expect drama to keep hitting me like a magnet. I expect that friends will leave because it's too much to handle. And I expect that God and I will be tighter than ever.
No drama is too much drama for me to handle if it means I get to have a stronger relationship with God as He helps me through it!
That my friends is life...and something about it. :)
I agree. And trust me, it does make sense. I'm the same way, but everything happens for a reason. God made us who we are on purpose and life will always come with obstacles, but it's what we make of them and how are faith is challenged and strengthened that will make it all worth it.