We've all heard and used the phrase "opposites attract" specifically within the context of relationships (friends, couples, etc). Whether we're referring to personality types, interests, or habits the phrase commonly applies. Sometimes it's used sarcastically to portray the difficulties as if it were some kind of cosmic joke, other times it's used to suggest some aspect of chance that would bring two opposites together to balance each other out. The phrase hints at some sort of truth, however I don't think it quite grasps the whole picture.

See, anyone who has been in a lasting relationship knows that after a while, if at all, opposites no longer "attract." In fact, opposites tend to conflict and cause distance between friends and spouses alike. Being in any sort of relationship where opposites coexist will at some point become very difficult simply because opposites don't naturally see eye to eye, but that in no way means the relationship is less valuable or desirable. Actually I would go so far to say that in spite of difficulty this kind of relationship is MOST valuable and should be MOST desirable.

I see an ideal relationship much like I see a puzzle; each person fills in the inadequacies or biased perspectives of the other so, although they can "get in each other's hairs" about some things, it's a balancing act that helps complete on another. While the concept of "completing one another" is often applied to couples, the same is true for deep friendships. In fact I think every kind of relationship we have helps complete each other in simple and in more significant ways. Character building is, in my opinion, the ultimate result of maintaining and building healthy relationships.

The relationships that have the deepest and most unique and long lasting effect on us are the ones that aren't because our opposites "attracted" but because those quirks, those opposite views and interests were MADE to fit into the equation of the relationship.

Anyone who has spent some time putting together a puzzle knows that there are basic and generic cuts to each piece much like everyone has shallow passerby type relationships, and many pieces and people can fill those basic gaps. But the deeper, more detailed, and more complicated cuts require a specific matching piece. That's why there is so much beauty and intrigue in the deepest of relationships (most notably, though not only, in a relationship between husband and wife) because fitting such detailed pieces together cannot happen by luck. Those pieces either have to be awkwardly forced together (either by themselves or by those around them) or there has to be a Maker who specifically designed those pieces to fit together. (And for those relationships forced together don't fret, the Designer can still mend the situation whether it be a morphing process or a surgical process, but only He gets to make that call.)

So, whether of friends or spouses, rather than saying "opposites attract" I think "opposites are designed to fit together" better incapsulates the beautiful complexities of a valuable relationship.