I've recently decided that I absolutely love music made by the undiscovered musicians of the world.
1. I love being one of the few to discover the talent before they go big (cause some actually have).
2. There's quality in their motivation.


The reason they make music is because they love it and want to share it. It's not about what they're getting from their artistry. You lose quality when all you're focused on is what you get, not what you love and can share.

You can see this all throughout life; music, movies, business deals, products, and so on. The most attractive product or deal or entertainment is generally the one that was made because they wanted to share it, not because they want your money.

But the thing that hit me is that although we know this fact, we don't always live it!

I'm not saying that I live completely for what I get...but I do so enough for it to be a problem. I love living my life for Christ...but I love it even more when He sends some blessings my way. In reality the quality of the way I live my life should remain the same whether God is pouring out blessings on me or not.

A musician that creates just to reach the Top 10 Hits just doesn't have the same quality of motivation as the musician who loves what they do. The songs may be just as catchy, but there's a difference when you start picking them apart. Their genuineness is vastly different; the musician seeking popularity writes for his/her audience, whereas the musician who loves what he does writes because he/she has a song to be heard.

Christians are no different. If you're living simply for the blessings and those "rewards in Heaven," then you're just as empty as a musician living for money and popularity! That's right, you're just like one of those millionaires who could care less about the people around him because all you do is collect blessings. Harsh...but the truth. You're lacking that quality of motivation and genuineness, and I can't imagine God would be thrilled about that.

The world tells us that it doesn't matter how it's done...it's all about the result. I beg to differ. I say that the result reflects the motivation behind it. A lack of genuine motivation is reflected in the results whether you like it or not.


What do the results of your life and your accomplishments reflect about you?
Do you live they way you do because you love it, or do you live the way you do because of what you get out of it?

It's a stinger...but I hope you let it resonate, because only then can you reflect on it. And only through reflection can you determine how to change.




Sidenote: Here's where I promote some of the undiscovered musicians...
Joy Whitlock, He is We, Seven Story Fall, & You Me At Six.
You can find them all (and more) on purevolume.com

These poems are not mine, they were posted (though not created) by a friend and I am now reposting them here to share with others. I thought they were rather profound and unique. Rarely we see both sides of the coin, and yet it is important to see both and not one...



Bride's Poem:

Do you qualify to be the man I need you to be?
Will you be able to recognize the things you need to see?
Will you be able to understand,
that I'm a good woman and in my life I need a good man?
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to fertilize my unproduced seeds?
Can you fulfill, as I can, all of our needs?
Can you put me in my place if you see I am slippin'?
Can you talk to me, wholeheartedly? Not constantly trippin'?
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be called all mine?
Can you leave the other women and temptations behind?
Can you come to me with your problems and not wait until it's too late?
Can you stand up and admit if you made a mistake?
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be the Honest Ebony Man I would want you to be?
Would you be able to look me in my eyes and admit your feelings to me?
Could you take me in your arms and make love to me all night long?
Can you be sensitive and still be strong?
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be my friend as well as my lover?
Can you put our love before any other?
Can you cherish me as if I were diamonds & gold?
Can you make me feel like I'm the last woman you'll ever hold?
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be called a good man?
If I have doubts can you reassure me and understand?
Can your love intoxicate me as if I were high?
To be in my life, I need to know...DO YOU QUALIFY?


Groom's Response:

You ask, do I qualify.
Can I fulfill your needs and become the man you need me to be?
My darling, are you prepared for what you've asked for?
Can you handle the responsibility?

Can you accept that, by GOD, I am the chosen one,
the authority, the comforter, and the head?
Will you submit and willingly follow my path?
Or will you fight with me instead?

If I am your king, will you treat me as such?
Will I get the best of your beauty and poise?
Or will I be subjected to an appearance neglected,
and checked with some serious noise?

When I talk, will you listen? I mean wholeheartedly, and feel me?
Or will you rush me just to make your point too?
Can I be the man at all times? Even when it hurts?
Or is it just when it's convenient for you?

Can you love me for me, and not who you wish I could be?
Will you see the strong man within?
Or will you always remind me of the all the past guys
behind me and make me pay for their sins?

If I don't send you flowers the day your co-worker received some,
will you know that I love you still?
Or will my good name be uttered along with those other doggish men?
Will you question if my commitment is real?

Will you be patient and teach me to understand you,
and allow my knowledge of your needs to grow?
Or will you shut me out when I ask, "Baby what's wrong?"
Or will you respond with, "Well a REAL MAN would know!"

When we first met, what was it that caught your eye?
Was it my mind, my heart, my personality?
Or was it my suit, or my job?
Or do you love what I drive, instead of what's driving me?

Yes I can, and I will, make love to you
From midnight to the dawning of the sun.
But, if I tell you I'm tired will you trust I'm sincere?
Or believe that there must be another one?

My darling, I love you and my heart can be yours.
No woman could lead me astray.
But like you, I have needs, so I beg of you, please,
in this love thing, meet me half way.

In life's tough times I'll hold you, in the rough times I'll mold you;
your simplest wish will be my command.
My life is yours if need be, yes you can fully bleed me,
and when hell comes, in your place, I'll stand.

A good relationship is a powerful institution
that must be built on a foundation of two
So to answer your question, YES, darling, I do qualify.
Now, more importantly...do you?

I may have grown up in the church, but that does not mean it makes logical sense for me to be where I am today. From the outside it may seem predictable, but not when you take a closer look. So many times I look back at junior high and high school, and wonder how I ended up here, because reason says I shouldn't.


For those of you who don't know...I grew up in a family that was highly involved in the church. I knew full well growing up that church was not just for Sunday. It was also for AWANA clubs on Friday nights and Jr. Choir on Wednesday later adding Youth Group and Biblestudy on Thursday nights. My whole family was fairly involved, if not very involved.

But don't let it fool you, that preface does not mean the rest of this story is a wishy washy brainwashing happy story. Through elementary and middle school I loved the church, the people, and the message. It truly was my second home. I loved everything about it. But that soon changed. I guess that's what happens when you ask God for a more colorful testimony...(which I did once upon a time, and I don't recommend it. haha)

Eighth grade I wanted nothing to do with the church, I only went because my friends were there. To the outside viewer it seems typical that a junior higher should rebel, but this was not a rebellion phase, this was because I was hurt. I was hurt by two youth leaders, and everything they were a part of seemed fake. To put a long story short I turned suicidal when the confusion wouldn’t end.

Through the bravery of a close friend I got through it, alive. Somehow I found myself returning to the church, despite my closest friends having nothing to do with God. Often times I wonder why didn’t I follow with them? Why didn't I stay in that crowd of friends. They were good friends of mine that to this day I still miss them. But somewhere we drifted apart, in a short span of time.

High school came around, and I met new friends. See that’s the thing about having such a big graduation class, I rarely got to see my middle school friends though we went to the same building every day. As I was part of the church again I brought those new friends to youth group...but it didn’t stick. My friends weren't against it, they just didn't care for it. So why did I? At this point the only good friends I had at youth group were one year behind and still in junior high. Why did I get involved in the high school Biblestudy; this place that hurt me, and only had but one friend there? It didn’t make sense.

Over time I came to be close friends with the older kids in youth group and once again I found a home at church. Confusion and pain left in the past, I was moving forward.

Until 2005.

It should have been my shining year. It was the year I went on an international missions trip, fear aside, without anyone I knew and I was only sixteen. It was a great trip, despite the two heart-wrenching funerals previous to my leaving, and I came back so energized!

But my excitement with the church didn't last when the rest of 2005 played out. Within two weeks of my missions trip, my Grandpa died. I questioned God but, remaining energized from my missions trip, I still found a home at church. Well, until four more funerals followed that is.

Going to a funeral nearly once a month for a full year, that will add fear and confusion to one’s faith. I questioned so many things and eventually told God I could do this on my own. He wasn’t helping any, so I would finally grab control. And without hope to calm my fears, I needed something to get rid of the pain.

I promised myself I would never turn to suicide again, so I had to find a different route. I knew running away wouldn’t solve any pain, but slamming my fist on a brick wall would help only occasionally. And that’s how it started. After that came punching my leg and slapping a rubber-band on my wrist, until that wasn’t enough. Next came the blade I carried in my pocket.

If, somehow, you’re still thinking it made some shard of sense for me to be in the church because I’ve grown to call it home...you’re wrong. I felt abandoned by my ignorant church friends and though I lost my knife at one point , I remember borrowing scissors AT church because that was the sharpest thing that I knew I could locate.

The church was once again a place of pain for me. The only reason I kept going to youth group during those months was to keep up appearances. I knew if I didn’t my parents would ask questions, and they were already in pain from my grandparents’ deaths I couldn’t let them know I wasn’t strong enough to handle it.

I should have made the dumbest decisions of my life in those months. And honestly I wanted to. I recall telling some of my school friends how much I wanted to and despite being shocked they were excited and waiting for open opportunities for me. But every time it appeared an opportunity arose, so did something that got in it's way. I assure you I would have taken advantage of those opportunities, but praise God I was never given the chance.

To people who ask how I got hope and found a refuge in God once more instead of hating Him and hating myself...I still don’t have an answer. One day, God came and met me where I was at. The addiction of cutting ended, and so did my depression. Was everything perfect? No. But this time, instead of finding a home at the church, I found a home in God.

The church can't save you, but God can. That's where you can, and should, put your faith. The church can and will fail you, after all it's comprised of sinners. God is where your faith and hope should lie. And I wasn't secure until that's where I placed mine.


Those are just the big stories in my life, there are so many little ones and so many details in these stories left out. Neither of those tragic paths should end up leading me back to God, let alone both of them combined.

So here I am, close to graduating from college. A Christian college. Not to mention, a Bible college where most of my classes were spent studying Scripture. Going through what I did and ending up where I am makes no sense without coming to one specific conclusion. I didn't do it on my own. God loves me even when I don’t love Him, He protects me even when I won’t let Him, and He exists even when I don’t want Him to.

A couple days ago I took my cat to the vet. The diagnosis was not what I wanted to hear, but he said Ringo had maybe 2 months to live. And that when it was his time he would go away and hide. Seemed logical...only because I know most pets do that.

But today when I woke up and Ringo was nowhere to be seen worry set in. We nearly tore the house apart looking in every nook and krany. We thought he was hiding because he wanted to be unfound as he was dying. Eventually my mom found him in the backyard luckily...and with a prize mole.

It made me wonder. Why on earth would he hide when he's sick? It makes logical sense from his standpoint I guess, he doesn't want people to see him in pain, deal with his body...and so on. But for me, I'd rather he stay here...to keep an eye on him, make him as comfortable as possible, and so forth.

Then it hit me.

When we're hurt and in pain, we run and hide. Maybe it's because we don't want others to be bothered with our troubles, maybe it's because you don't want to seem weak. Whatever it is, our instinct is to hide it and sweep it under the rug.

But God sits there and wishes we would share with Him. He wants to keep an eye on us, He wants to make the pain as easy to get through as possible. And so do friends and family. They all care.

It is so much more difficult and humbling to admit you're hurt and in pain, but people actually do care. So why do we keep hiding it from them? Is it simply because we are too proud? Or do we just not trust our friends to care enough to want to be bothered with our troubles?

God has a way with timing, He truly does. And He knows just how to catch my attention most; through music.

Today was one of those days where I got lost in the past. And this time it hit me hard...I wanted to give up. And just when I was about to throw my hands in the air, the towel in the bucket, and peace out...a song came on Pandora that I hadn’t heard before.

I promise you it was one of those ‘cliche’ moments where I turned up my music for no reason and it was precisely what I needed to hear. And it’s those moments where I know I have to listen because it’s no coincidence.

When Tears Fall by Tim Hughes
“I've had questions without answers
I've known sorrow, I have known pain
But there's one thing that I cling to
You are faithful, Jesus You're true

When hope is lost
I call You Saviour
When pain surrounds
I call You Healer
When silence falls
You'll be the song within my heart”

It reminded me of one of my favorite Old Testament passages: Lamentations 3. It may seem a bit morbid at first for being a favorite passage but wait until you get to verses 16-24.

It’s been a passage of comfort to me in many times, reminding me that God’s faithfulness does not change no matter the circumstances.



Rest of the Lyrics:
In the lone hour of my sorrow
Through the darkest night of my soul
You surround me, You sustain me
My defender for ever more

When hope is lost
I call You Saviour
When pain surrounds
I call You Healer
When silence falls
You'll be the song within my heart

And I will praise You
I will Praise You
When the tears fall
Still I will sing to You
I will praise You
Jesus praise You
Through the suffering
Still I will sing to You
[repeat]

When the laughter fails to comfort
When my heart aches, Lord are you there?
When confusion is all around me
And the darkness is my closest friend
Still I'll praise You
Jesus praise You

I’ve made some crummy decisions in my life; big and small. And yet when people asked me if I had any regrets in my life, I drew a blank.

It’s not because I didn’t see the destruction they caused, because believe me I did. Sure I wish I could take back all that pain and disappointment but, even though I can’t, I still don’t regret those circumstances.

But recently I’ve realized that I actually do regret one dumb decision I made years ago. But why is this one different? Yeah, this is one of those big dumb ones, but I can name two other big dumb ones I've made. So why do I regret this one and not the other two?

I’ve learned from my mistakes, and they’ve strengthened me as a person and a friend...yet this one I still regret?

Then I realize, the two big ones I don’t regret are ones I’ve not only learned from but, with the Healer’s help, also seen how they have worked for the better.

Because of those mistakes I’ve been able to help others who are caught in the same place I was. I’ve also seen the joy of letting my mistake prevent others from making the same decision. To me, that’s worth it.

That’s not to say I’d go back and do the same thing intentionally, but it is to say there is a Sovereign God who can take those dumb decisions that Satan hopes will slow me down and turn them into something that will make me and those around me stronger (Rom 8:28).
(Talk about your backfire.)



So why do I regret the one, and not the others?

My conclusion:
Regret is the feeling you get when you haven’t found the benefit of learning from your mistake.

"What's Montague? It is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other word would smell as sweet.
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title."
--"Romeo and Juliet" Act II scene ii

Shakespeare's most famous written line; "What's in a name?" It's a question most of us could respond by reciting the following line. But how often do we think about that question?

Within the context of the play we see that Romeo's name does not define him; it does not govern his actions. However, it still identifies him. It identifies his heritage and his background, but not the reputation of his person.

In America our approach to a name is similar; they mean very little. The only significance of them is heritage, background, and identification. But in many cultures and religions this is certainly not the case.


In the Bible we see peoples' names that hold importance in their meaning. These names are chosen in attempt to identify one's specific person and personality. We can see this in both the Old and New Testament. God even renames some people (Abraham, Israel, Peter, Paul...) in order to accurately identify their (new) person/lifestyle.

Over the next month I will be taking on the task of learning the importance of God's many names. But God's names are more than just identification. There is literal power in the names of the Lord.

It's an odd concept to think about...but just reflect on it for a little bit and check out Psalm 20:
verse 1
May the LORD answer you in the day of trouble!
May the name of the God of Jacob protect you!
verse 5
May we shout for joy over your salvation,
and in the name of our God set up our banners!
verse 7 and 8
Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
They collapse and fall,
but we rise and stand upright.

The name of the Lord protects. The name of the Lord is praiseworthy. The name of the Lord raises up. That's not even the Lord, that's just His name that is doing all that (just imagine what the Lord Himself can do if simply His name can do all that). Now how does that make rational sense?

Like with most abstract concepts, it is easier understood by use of metaphor:
Go back to history class where you learned about the Romans. Being considered a Roman citizen they were protected because it meant Rome was on their side. It was appropriate to celebrate their citizenship because of the safety that is implied. And even the lowly Roman citizens were treated decent (comparatively) as Paul's testimony shows in Acts 22.

It's not a perfect metaphor but it gets the point across; it is possible for a name to hold more than just meaning, but power as well. The Lord's name holds power. That is why it is crucial not to say it in vain, or to throw it around in common speech. One does not go throwing around guns for fear of their misuse, and yet we throw the Lord's name in vain as if it were without power or importance. Ironically, the Lord's name is more powerful than guns and yet we are more careful with guns than we are His name.


So don't let Shakespeare answer that famous question for you. Think about it..."what's in a name?"